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shattered_black_13
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Name: Haylie
Country: Canada
State: British Columbia
Birthday: 9/14/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: music,surfing,friends,dancing,writing,ancient history, black 13 ( its my thing i might explain no its not a gang), life, perceptions, my novel
(in the process), hmmm, people, the human psyche, insane asylums. human rights, and animal rights. Zen, and meditation. water sports, rugby, football, baseball, soccer, and movies , im a movie addict.
Expertise: writer, surfer, student, dancer, and person
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Art
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  NycMusicSweetie
MSN: punkrocker_1013@hotmail.com
Yahoo:  shatterday_1013@yahoo.com
Member Since:
5/4/2004
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| wow i forgot i had this. anyways since i didnt post at all last year. oh my bad once in jan. so its been about a year. i'll briefly update you al. im 18 now, i have red and black hair. (natural red), and im moving to california. im writing a novel, i have 12 piercings and soon to be 2 tattoo's. im getting the second one next week. anyhow thats it for now, peace love and joy. oh ive also taken up the hippie lifestyle adios | | |
| well, now hasnt it just been forever and a day. lets see. i went to oregon again in october. but past is past right? ashes to ashes and dust to dust that kind of thing. i dont know. i totaly forgot i had xanga. i think i had this before i had livejournal. and now i use greatestjournal. but oh well. ive been in a writing class and ive learned alot about fiction and why people write it, i suppose i can see now that yes i am good at writing fiction. and no i dont like it that much. i preferr a style of writing most people dont do or havent heard of its kind of like a journal about how the world works like a mini book of columns or something maybe i will post some up here sometime. and i intentionally break alot of the writing rules. anyways have fun party. and live. stay real. | | |
| life, is it worth living? thats my question of the moment and i think not. right now ni my deepest low so far this year. the one moment it counts ive got nobody to talk me out of anything anymore. so whats the point. nobody really gives a fucking shit if i live or die. seriously. so why not just die and give the world back my resources and not waste anymore? i mean here i am sitting here practically in tears and the one person i could talk to i cant. well theres 2 people both of which i cant. anyways. i need to go because typing this isnt helping any anyways, | | |
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mood |
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 Crying in Neverland's Forest |
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music |
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Please Don't Die - John Newton Howard - Peter Pan Soundtrack |
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"to live would be an awfully big adventure" yes but i like it better when he says "to die would be an awfully big adventure" anyways everyone i trust and care about is turning away from me. and it stings with the blades of a thousand knives. im thinking about not leaving my house ever. ever ever.im thinking i might not sign up for dance and fuck my dreams of being a choreographer and professional dancer i mean ive only danced for 3 years a studio i dont have what it takes. im shit. everyone syas oh your the best in the class we love you sooooooo much and your point its amazing wow i think i suck. my writing is shit. im fat i could never amount to anything i want to. my cousins right im fucking horrid. horrid i tell u fucking horrid ! i mean ive got 5 fucking disorders. and im negative according to him. and people never get to know the real me they just see the glass fucking house ive built up to protect me from the outside world. but then again people who live in glass houses shouldnt throw stones. and by trusting rhys and kent and jen and julie ive been throwing stone and im afraid if i get hurt again its all going to shatter and hurt me so this time the damage is irreprable. the song scandalous by miss teeq everyone go download its my dance song and the lyrics are sooo rad its explains me in an instant. my english teacher read my poem laughing loudest today. he said it was very well written. and he loved it. he doesnt say that about all my poems mind u so i know he means it. pity its a vile emotion and word. why why did i use it. fuck. oh well. with time i will get numb to my emotions and feelings. today today is horrid. its kent's birthday he's 16 there was so much information about life and the world i wanted to share with him. on this day. but alas he hates no loathes me so it cannot be. im soo fucking depressed about that. just everything thats going on right now seems to be wrong. the impression that i get by the mighty mighty boss tones is amazing i love it. its such a good song its something i grew up listening to, lol. im thinking of writing a fairytale novel and sending it out to publishers or maybe some poetry. not that they would publish it. but i shall still send it. as sadness sets in stone on the path of my life. i take a wrong turn as the arrows on it say to. it throws me off course into the never land. and i see all my dreams brought to life. then i awake and everything is wrong anyways. Alas, no dreams are reality, no sweet kisses, nothings left for me at all. well thats how i feel and thats how i must leave this and go now. my story is about a girl fairies and a boy. and many other characters. it will be an amzing fairytale literally. ciao bella!
as always a picture of my hero and his side kick
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| Well here i am writing again because i've got more to say im pissed stressed calm and content and confused about everything in life. I've been pushed to my comfort zone again and i dont know why i let that happen. Heres a poem. i wrote on LJ yes i use Live Journal which is why i havent been posting much sorry guys. But I wont be wasting these colors i'll be using them like no tomorrow you'll see in just a sec. so anyways on with the poem
well i'll link because it wont let my type it out properly dammit !
  i love this one because of the i loved you and the slashing it shows just what people can do to you when you let them in and let them affter you and then they hurt you or it doesnt work.
ok i love this icon for many reasons it symbolizes alot in my life right now. just everything. the pictoral aspects to the words."I'm not your star." right now i feel so lost and confused and nothing is going write and fuck everything.! i was having a positive aspect from meditating and yoga but fuck. i had a run in with a arch enemy of mine and that didnt set me out and i just did a rad nirvana challenge learned alot it was sooo much fun matt is rad i learned and remembered alot. it was good. SO anyways check out my LJ http://www.livejournal.com/users/surf_punk17 it'll be rad promise ! also my website http://www.geocitites.com/shatterday_1013/shattered is up and running "D woot ! and then this is my online log. im hoping to keep both this and my LJ up and running s okeep your fingures crossed lol. a quote from my poem states.
"As my eyes shut for the very last time and i can no longer see
It becomes apparent that you all I ever needed to be
As you hold me tight and whisper to me
I know you’ll never let me go and give me the key"
The poem is entitled As My Eyes Shut You Open Them Back Up - Hayley may 11,04
i love writing free write poetry its completely amazing to just let the pen and your instant thoughts take you anywhere and just write everything down. And what ever comes out can be amazing or shit. its a wonderful experiance. well today has been fucking shit to fucking rad. so i guess i'll go post on LJ again.... lol ciao bounas noches everyone since its around 11 when im posting im not sleeping but alot of u my unreading readers might be.
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